


Eternal Flame

by Operaghostangst



Category: Phantom - Susan Kay, Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: And if people want more, Because we all know our girl Chrissy has a habit of passing out, Established Erik/Christine, F/M, Its not decided yet, May turn into a little family fic depending on how its recieved, Possible Character Death, Pregnancy, implied birth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Operaghostangst/pseuds/Operaghostangst
Summary: Perhaps he simply wasn't meant to have happiness. Why else would it have taken such a horrible turn? One would've thought he would've learned his lesson at this point.
Relationships: Christine Daaé/Erik | Phantom of the Opera
Comments: 14
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Not when He was finally happy. No, not when they were finally happy together. He’d been apprehensive when Christine had fallen pregnant with his child for obvious reasons and not so obvious reasons. The obvious reasons being that it was risky and that he had always worried that he’d pass on his face. The other reason was that he’d always thought Christine had been a bit too big for just one child, especially going into the last few months. If there was more than one, it was all the more reason for him to worry.

Yet she had been so convinced that she was strong enough, that she could pull through this. She’d begged him to have faith in her, and like a fool he had given in as he always did. He could never deny her- something he was quickly coming to regret about himself. Normally, He wouldn’t be allowed in the room with her. Normally men were kicked out by the midwives. However, Erik wasn’t a normal man and a few well placed and carefully worded threats got his point across. It probably helped that he'd paid them handsomely to keep their mouths shut about this odd situation.

It had been hours and Christine was beginning to weaken. Two babies had already been birthed, both girls. Thankfully, neither had inherited his deformity from what he could tell so far. Unfortunately, there was another one and she was struggling quite a bit. He hadn’t wanted to distress her any further so he simply stroked her sweat-soaked curls, keeping the desperate pleas locked in his head. He couldn’t lose her now. He just couldn’t. He didn’t know what he’d do if he did.

Earlier, when she had initially gone into labor, Christine had made him promise to carry on without her if it were to go wrong. He could admit that he’d lied to her. It was nothing more than a pretty, comforting lie. He’d simply told her what she wanted to hear. The truth was, she’d asked the one thing of him that he couldn’t grant her. It was looking like he would be breaking his half-hearted promise, but he hoped that he was wrong despite himself.

After what felt like forever to him, the sounds of the last baby wailing sounded but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from Christine. Unbeknownst to him, there were horrified gasps from the other people in the room. However, with their very lives on the line, no one dared to say anything that would upset the imposing man further.

Christine’s chest rose and fell weakly as she wheezed. She reached out and grasped the material of his shirt, tugging him downwards lightly. Erik fell to his knees beside her. He grasped her little hand in both of his own, bringing it up to kiss the back of it. She offered him a tired smile. “I know you’re going to be an excellent father… I love you.” She breathed. Before he could respond, her hand went limp.

Erik couldn’t process what had happened right away, but once he did a string of ‘no’s left his mouth. It wasn’t something he noticed, it was purely subconscious. He couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the way it felt like the ground was crumbling beneath him. He staggered to his feet and stumbled out of the room without a second glance, his chest feeling uncomfortably tight. He vaguely heard people calling for him but he ignored it, loosening his cravat. It didn’t help. He couldn’t do this without her. He refused to do this without her.

He considered going out to find Nadir, but that wouldn’t do. The man wouldn’t take his children in. The man was too moral to do something like that. He’d probably try and force him to keep his word and he didn’t want to. Life had no meaning, no appeal without Christine. Especially not his life. Music could only do so much and his music was no longer his own anyways. It belonged to Christine, just like the rest of him.

Madame Giry. She was the only option. She was the only one strong enough to keep their children safe, yet wary enough of him to give in to his demands. She wouldn’t deny him the sweet release of death. He hurried towards the surface to find her. The sooner that he could express his demands and bring her to the children, the sooner that she’d leave with them. As soon as she left with them, he could join Christine once more, though he highly doubted he’d go to the same place as her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why must people be so stubborn?

Finding Madame Giry had been easier than expected and he was actually relieved to see her for once. Rather than speak to her, he simply grabbed her arm and dragged her along behind him. The woman trailed along behind him at first, mostly out of surprise. The surprise seemed to wear off as soon as they entered one of the many tunnels. She jerked her arm away and he spun around to face her with a low growl.

“Would you mind using your words to explain what is going on?” Antionette demanded, not caring for being manhandled in the slightest. Something was clearly off about the resident opera ghost but she wouldn’t stand for such treatment, especially not after everything she’d done for him thus far.

There was an irritated huff from the man, he had apparently expected that he wouldn’t have to explain himself tonight. “You are to take my children and return to the surface.” he refused to explain any further.

Dread began to blossom in the old woman’s chest. That statement was inherently wrong as she knew Christine wouldn’t be pleased with Erik if he tried to separate her and the children so soon- especially without a word. Now that they were finally married, she knew that it was unlikely that he’d purposely do something that would threaten Christine’s happiness like that anyways . So.. something else was going on here.

“Why, Erik? Why do you want me to do such a thing?” Antionette questioned frantically. If she didn’t know any better and she didn’t have any self-restraint, she’d be grabbing onto his lapels and shaking him a little bit.

Erik stiffened and backed away as if she had him psychically cornered. She could see the panic rising in those amber eyes but she refused to back down. “Christine.. my Christine is gone… I intend to join her once more.” He stated as if this made perfect sense and in his mind it did.

The words were something Madame Giry struggled to come to terms with. She couldn’t believe that Christine was simply gone. It seemed unbelievable, especially after how optimistic the girl had been about making it through the labor and birth. Anger replaced the sadness almost immediately. “Are you serious? You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still the selfish bastard that you were when you first fell in love with her.” Antionette sneered.

Erik flinched as if he’d been slapped and his eyes seemed to flare with light if only for a moment before they went dull again. “You’d never understand.. I can’t go on without her… I won’t. She should’ve understood that she was asking too much of me.” He uttered softly.

Antionette simply stared at him before she did something that not many would have the guts or will to do. She reached up and yanked the mask from his face before delivering a harsh slap with her free hand. She ignored the shocked gasp and the way his hand trembled as he raised it to cup the ravaged cheek that she’d slapped. She didn’t say anything, she simply shoved the mask into his chest and continued on her way, going around him.

* * *

By the time that Antionette reached her destination, she was intercepted by an overly concerned midwife. She waited as patiently as she could manage for the scared woman to speak.

“Where is her husband? I told her I’d find him. She’s awake and she’s been crying for him. She’s very weak but I believe she should be fine with the proper care.” The woman rushed out so quickly that it took the older woman a few minutes to register them.

The relief was so strong that it nearly knocked Antionette to her knees. She could only assume that Christine had passed out from either the pain or sheer exhaustion. Erik, being who he was, hadn’t stayed to find out her fate. He’d just left in search of her. While it was understandable it was also a little annoying.

“Please try and calm her. I know where her husband is. I shall go fetch him and inform him of the good news.” She finally answered and the midwife nodded before rushing off to do as she was told.

Antionette retraced her steps, moving as quickly as she could manage with a cane. Perhaps she would have to apologize for the slap she delivered but it would be worth it to keep him from doing something stupid and easing the weight that clearly rested on his shoulders.

Unfortunately, when she found the spot that she’d left him, he was long gone. The only proof that he’d been there was the shattered mask laying on the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Some self-harm near the end of this chapter.

Madame Giry searched for a while longer before she decided it was best to give up. Christine was her main concern at the moment. She did hope that something would delay Erik and he wouldn’t be able to do anything too stupid. She went back the way she came. She hesitated a little, trying to come up with something that she could tell the poor woman. Now wasn’t the time to tell her what her husband intended to do, especially not with her current state. She braced herself and entered the room, the relief returning when Christine turned to look as soon as the door opened.

Christine’s expression seemed to brighten for that split second before she realized that Antionette was alone. She frowned in concern. “Where is Erik? Could you not find him?” She asked, her voice weak and raspy.

Antionette cursed under her breath and sighed, walking further into the room to perch on the edge of the bed. “I do believe that he’s otherwise occupied at the moment. Monsieur Khan seemed rather insistent that he speaks to him.” She explained, hating that the lie was necessary and hating that Christine clearly bought it so easily.

Christine nodded and contented herself with a small sigh. “So he’ll be here soon, then, right?” she asked softly. It was quite clear that Erik didn’t seem to realize that she needed him just as much as he needed her. Perhaps it wasn’t as intense for obvious reasons, but it was still there.

Antionette nodded her head and the midwife finally brought the children over to Christine, laying one on her chest and the other two on either side of her. The one on her chest was a boy with Erik’s face and the other two were girls. The girls had been lucky enough to escape their brother’s fate but that didn’t matter and would never matter to Christine. She’d love all of her children equally. This was made clear by the way her expression brightened once more and she immediately stroked the sleeping baby’s face gently.

“Are you going to name them, Christine?” Madame Giry asked, breaking the silence after a few minutes. She was curious as to what she had in mind. She carefully picked up one of the girls, cradling her as she rocked her gently.

Christine looked back up at the older woman, smiling faintly. “Only one of them. He already agreed that I could name a boy after my father. We never really discussed girl names so I think it’s best that I wait until he comes back. I’m sure he’ll have something beautiful in mind.” She explained.

Madame Giry could only nod and immediately looked back down at the baby in her arms. She could only hope everything worked out. If not, these poor children would be without a father and she’d have to tell Christine the truth. She could only hope that the woman could find the strength to stick around for their children if worse came to be. She tried to convince herself everything would work out, but her stomach was twisted in so many knots that it was almost amazing. She allowed the silence to linger this time, occasionally giving a hopeful look towards the door whenever she heard the water move. Each time she was disappointed when footsteps didn’t follow.

* * *

Erik wasn’t sure where he was going and he honestly didn’t care. Anywhere was better than the tunnels or the home that he’d come to share with Christine over the last few years. Even if he fully planned on ending it, he didn’t wish to taint the children with death while they were so young. Though they wouldn’t remember seeing his corpse, he’d feel horrible about it.

He had been almost everywhere in the opera house and outside. He couldn’t find a place that appealed to him as a final resting place at all. He had since decided that it didn’t matter so long as he could finally have the relief that he so desperately wanted. He came across the dressing room and he slipped inside, locking it behind him. The room was full of nothing but reminders of Christine. It was painful in a way that he welcomed immensely.

He caught his reflection in the mirror and stared blankly for a few moments before his anger overtook him. It was his fault that Christine was gone. If he would’ve never touched her, she would’ve never ended up getting pregnant with his little brats. Before he could rein it in, he slammed his fist into the mirror, shattering it. The pain that suddenly burned through his hand was welcomed as well. He slowly pulled his hand back and smirked bitterly, the blood staining his knuckles making the last step click in his mind.

He grabbed her blue [cloak](https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1f0cmpoXt1r1zn4oo1_500.gif) off of the chair and bent down to pick up one of the glass shards. He slipped to his knees and held the material to his face, inhaling her scent for a few moments. He wished to remember it for the last of his time on earth. It was oddly soothing even now. He shifted his position and grasped the glass tightly in one hand, rolling up the sleeve of his suit jacket and shirt. He turned his arm over and began dragging the sharp tip across his flesh. The pain was dull and it was exactly what he needed. He repeated the process a couple more times. 

When he felt like he’d done enough, he tossed the now bloody shard of glass off to the side and shifted to lay down, curling up on his side. He clutched the cloak to his chest and buried his face in it. “Christine…” He murmured softly, his voice catching. He couldn’t wait. Maybe he’d get lucky and he would be able to see her again- after all… he’d been wrong about things before.


	4. Chapter 4

Erik was just beginning to fade, welcoming the dizziness he was feeling without a second thought. He had simply curled around the cloak tighter, releasing a shaky sigh. He completely missed the door being unlocked and opened. He had seemingly forgotten that he wasn’t the only one with a key to the dressing room. Honestly it was probably more so that he didn't actually care. He couldn't bring himself to care about anything anymore. The world felt pointless without the love of his life.

Antionette stepped further into the room, gasping quietly when she saw the mess he’d made and Erik himself. She should’ve realized that he’d choose somewhere comforting to end it all and the only thing that could comfort the man properly was Christine. She shut the door and hurried over to him, frowning when he didn’t react to the sounds of her cane on the floor. She bent down and tossed the cane to the side, reaching out to shake him. “Erik.” She uttered, hoping for a response. The fact that he was still breathing didn’t really mean anything in the long run.

Erik shifted and groaned softly, barely opening his eyes as he reluctantly peered up at her. “Why are you here? Did I not order you to stay with my children?” he would’ve most likely snapped had he had the strength to do so at the moment. But because he didn't, he sounded more than a little off. Madame Giry could only sigh heavily and ignore the urge to roll her eyes at his stubbornness. 

Antionette pried his bloodied arm away from Christine’s cloak and turned it over to observe the damage done despite his attempts to pull his arm back, clearly not appreciating what she was doing. “You should count yourself lucky that you didn’t cut yourself in the opposite direction and that I actually bothered to check in here. This should just be a mild inconvenience.” she sighed, ignoring his question for the moment.

Erik looked at her for a few minutes before laying his head back down with his own sigh. “That doesn’t answer my question, Madame. Whether or not I sliced my arm the correct way hardly matters.” He retorted somewhat coldly.

“It does, actually. If you really must know, the children are with Christine where they belong. She’s alive and she’s been asking for you. She just went back to sleep because she needs all the rest she can get, but before she’d do that she made me promise to find you. She thinks you were talking to your friend.” Madame Giry was well aware that she was essentially scolding the Opera Ghost, but he couldn’t do anything to her in the state he happened to be in at the moment.

Erik could only stare blankly, jolting upwards with a small groan. He didn’t care for the way that the almost too warm feeling had rushed over him and the dizziness had intensified. But it was probably to be expected. “Christine…is alive? Don’t mock me, Antionette.” He sneered, hardly ever bothering to use her name. This was one of the few times that he ever had since she knew him.

Antionette grabbed Christine’s cloak and tore a strip from the slowly fraying bottom. It wasn’t like it mattered. It was both old and blood stained now. She wrapped it around Erik’s wrist and tied it off somewhat tightly. Hopefully it would staunch the bleeding. “Since you won’t believe me, come. You can see for yourself and I’ll wrap that properly once we are down below.” she offered.

Erik seemed rather hesitant for a moment, but he nodded and pushed himself to his feet, staggering. The journey down to his home was much slower than it usually would, mostly because of this. Antionette did her best to try and help support him but there was only so much she could do. He relied more on the walls than he did on her and she could understand that. She did insist on rowing the boat for him because there was no way he could do so at the moment. Once they’d arrived with few incidents, she forced him to sit down even if she knew he’d rather see Christine first. He glared up at her with a surprising intensity and she felt secure in taking this as a good sign.

“Christine is going to be devastated enough when she learns the truth. Wouldn’t you agree that it’d make it easier on her if she couldn’t actually see your blood when she wakes up?” Antionette pointed out and the man relented reluctantly. She got to work, cleaning the wounds properly before she rewrapped them in actual bandages.

He immediately stood when she was done and she made no move to stop him as he entered the room. There was no point in her being her anymore and she was more than a little glad about that. She cleaned up the mess and headed back the way she came.

* * *

Erik hesitantly closed the door behind him and approached the bed. He stared at Christine apprehensively for a few minutes as she was still a little paler than usual. It didn’t take long for him to realize that her chest was rising and falling slowly but far more regularly than it had been when he initially left. The relief was a powerful emotion. He couldn’t stop the tears from flooding his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. He vaguely noticed the children but his focus was on his wife right now.

  
He reached out to brush some of her now dry curls away from her face, leaning down to kiss her forehead as the sob rocked through him, nearly stealing his breath. “Christine..” He uttered almost reverently as he started to pull away. He froze when she stirred and blue eyes fluttered open, immediately meeting his own. He was floored by the way that she almost instantly brightened.

“Erik! You’re alright! I was so worried that something had happened- even despite knowing you were speaking to Nadir!” She exclaimed. Guilt flooded him once more.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Erik worked through his guilt quickly, subtly pulling the sleeve of his jacket down to cover the bandages. Even if he managed to work through it in record time, he was about to heap more on. He offered her a small smile and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I apologize for worrying you, my love.” he murmured quietly. Hiding the truth probably wasn't the way to go, but he had no choice. She was in a very delicate position right now. This would only stress her out and make her condition worse, potentially. He definitely wasn't worth that.

Christine smiled sweetly, though it still had an exhausted edge to it. “It’s perfectly fine, Erik. Take a look at our beautiful babies.” She implored and offered him the smallest baby of the bunch. He took her and cradled her carefully against his chest. He couldn’t help the weak smile that formed on his lips. 

“You’re right, Mon Amour. They’re beautiful. Have you named them?” Erik asked curiously, glancing towards his wife- his expression almost overwhelmingly tender. He had noticed that the only boy amongst the group seemed to share his face, but he was too relieved and emotionally drained to really work up the proper amount of anger with himself. Especially with all his already existing guilt.

“I’d like to name the boy after my father, if you don’t mind. I haven’t had much time to come up with names for the girls.” Christine murmured, flushing slightly in embarrassment. Erik reaches out to caress one of her red tinted cheeks, not wanting her to feel bad about something out of her control.

"Gustave it is, then. How about.. Emelie and Jeanne for the girls?” Erik suggested after a moment of thought, quite liking the way the names sounded. Christine’s eyes brightened and she offered him what could only be described as an exhausted smile.

“Emelie and Jeanne sound absolutely perfect.” Christine yawned, her eyes beginning to slip closed. This reminded him that his wife was still recovering and he carefully took the children from her, laying them down in their proper places. He perched on the very edge of the bed and hummed a nameless tune until she fell into a deep sleep.

Erik stood and leaned down to kiss her forehead gently, leaving the room so as to not disturb her. He remained silent just in case any of the triplets started crying. He could handle anything but their hunger. He’d unfortunately have to wake her for that as he didn’t have the ability to produce milk.

* * *

The weeks passed and Christine slowly but surely improved. She and Erik seemed to be falling into a bit of a pattern that made it easier to deal with three babies who were nowhere near potentially sleeping through the night. She couldn’t be happier to finally have a family with her husband, even if their son did have his father’s face to a less severe degree. That hadn’t and would never matter to her. Even Erik seemed happy enough.

Around their children at least, that was. His behavior towards her was beginning to chip away at both Christine’s confidence and her heart in the same manner. Did he not love her anymore? Was a family all that he’d wanted out of her at this point? It didn’t seem like an accurate assumption but she couldn’t figure out why it seemed like Erik couldn’t stand to touch her anymore.

Christine reached out as Erik turned to leave the room , grabbing his sleeve. She could only hope this time would be different. She pulls him down and he doesn’t fight her, giving her hope. She doesn’t bother to say anything, leaning up to kiss him more passionately than she probably should’ve. Her heart leaps with joy when Erik moans into the kiss, melting into her for a short moment. Much too short if she’s being honest with herself.

Erik rips away from her, panting slightly. There is a brief flash of guilt in his amber eyes but it does nothing to soothe the almost physical pain in her chest. He leans down and tries to peck her lips but she turns her head, making his lips connect with her cheek instead. 

“I’m sorry, Christine. I really must go out and procure us some food.” Erik murmured, turning on heel and leaving the room after lingering for a moment. 

Christine curls in on herself, shaking with stifled sobs. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I may make it better if you want more 💜


End file.
